(presented at Sept 2011 Guy's Burger Night Out)
Adopted and foster children come with different issues and baggage as compared to children born to us. They have holes that need to be filled, and they have extra junk that needs to be gotten rid of or controlled.
Q1 – Do adopted/foster children need to be disciplined differently? Yes, some do not respond the same to discipline, and some are overly sensitive to certain discipline.
Q2 – What holes do they have? How to fill them? Holes: lack of nurturing, care, having needs met. Create for children: history, heritage, secure future, permanence.
Q3 – What extra junk do they have? How to deal with it? Junk: hyper sensitive, uncontrollable emotions, inappropriate behavior, mental/physical problems, birth family problems.
Q4 – How to discipline effectively, with love?
Q5 – How to manage different discipline techniques for multiple children?
Q6 – When do you not discipline? Overlook?
Q7 – Is spanking ok? Physical.
Q8 – Does timeout work? Isolation.
Q9 – Newer teaching involves overlooking bad behavior and listening to the heart of the child, and identifying root cause of behavior. Positive rather then negative punishment. Is this right? Can you do this? Is it difficult?
Q10 – Will discipline get easier with a child? Harder?
Q12 – Should we really want good outward behavior, or is it more about good heart-level conviction of sin, confession, forgiveness, etc.? How can we disciple an adoptive/foster child? What is the Biblical way for us to discipline our children? Just punish or more?
Love and discipline kids unconditionally and equally?
Wikopedia “discipline”:
To discipline means to instruct a person to follow a particular code of conduct or order. In the field of child development, discipline refers to methods of modeling character and of teaching self-control and acceptable behavior,"Without discipline there is nothing to be proud of". Richard L Kempe
However, usually the phrase "to discipline" carries a negative connotation. This is because of the need to maintain order – that is, ensuring instructions are carried out. Order is often regulated through punishment.
To be disciplined is then, subject to context, either a virtue (the ability to follow instructions well) or a euphemism for punishment (which may also be referred to as "disciplinary procedure").
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Wikopedia “discipleship”:
"Love one another"
A definition of disciple is suggested by Jesus' self-referential example from the Gospel of John 13:34-35: "I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (NRSV)
"Be transformed"
Generally in Christian theology, discipleship is a term used to refer to a disciple's transformation from some other World view and practice of life into that of Jesus Christ, and so, by way of Trinitarian theology, of God himself.[5][citation needed] Note the Apostle Paul's description of this process, that the disciple "not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2) Therefore a disciple is not simply an accumulator of information or one who merely changes moral behavior in regard to the teachings of Jesus Christ, but seeks a fundamental shift toward the ethics of Jesus Christ in every way, including complete devotion to God.[citation needed] In several Christian traditions, the process of becoming a disciple is called the Imitation of Christ, and the ideal goes back to the Pauline Epistles.[6] The influential book the The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis further promoted this concept in the 14th century.
The Great Commission
Main article: Great Commission
Ubiquitous throughout Christianity is the practice of proselytization, making new disciples. In Matthew, at the beginning of Jesus' ministry, when calling his earliest disciples Simon (Peter) and Andrew, he says to them, "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men" (Matthew 4:19). Then, at the very end of his ministry Jesus institutes the Great Commission, commanding all present to "go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you" (Matthew 28:19-20a). Jesus has incorporated this practice into the very definition of being a disciple and experiencing discipleship.
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