Father Leadership (topic during Oct 6, 2011 Adoption/Foster Guy's Burger Night Out))

My comments:  Think about this from the prospective of an adoptive or foster father.  A lot of this advice meets the needs of and addresses fears and problems of adoptive and foster children.  Fears/problems include: insecurity that we will leave them or they will have to leave us, fear of an unsafe environment, only knowing conditional love or no love, being neglected/abused/abandonment, and not knowing a father as a leader.

http://sonstoglory.com/spiritualfathersons.htm

Father Leadership extract

One of the main ways that God provides leadership in His kingdom is through fathers. This is why the spirit of Elijah must come and restore "the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers." Otherwise the "great and dreadful Day of the Lord" which is coming would consume us and "strike the earth with a curse" (Mal. 4:4-6). These final words in the Old Testament point to God's Father Leadership in His kingdom.

Fathering involves the loving heart attitude displayed in raising children.
A father exhorts and comforts and implores and sometimes chastens when necessary (1 Thess. 2:11, Heb. 12:7-11), but only after establishing you through much encouragement.
A father is always around through thick and thin.
A father does not forsake you when you fail or leave you when disagreements arise.
A father not only goes with you into battle, he leads the way (Joshua 1:5-9).
Spiritual fathering is the major leadership method for building the body of Christ.

One of my favorite authors Rick Joyner writes,

"Father" means "life giver." The father gives the seed, and the mother nurtures the seed.

In Scripture, we see the creation as "a" mother. Both Israel and the church are also referred to in Scripture as "mothers." Just as the woman was taken from Adam so that they would have to come together to be the complete image of God, the Lord will be joined perfectly to His bride to give the creation a true reflection of His glory."2

Since God calls his corporate body (males and females) both a bride (Rev. 21:9), and a son (Rom 4:5-7) we can see that gender is not the issue here. Being a spiritual father is not related to gender, and a woman can function as a spiritual father just as well as a man (Gal. 3:28).

The most important thing you could ever impart to someone is how to love God, and this does not come by teaching or someone praying for you or any other "quick fix" method.
It comes from being loved by a father.

It comes by hanging around someone on a consistent basis who has an intimate relationship with THE Abba Father. This is why until Jesus came, we never truly knew how to be intimate with God. Jesus started the Fathering mentorship by being a father to a small group of disciples and this little group became fathers who had sons who became fathers, and so on and so on. The fathering family of God began.

A father does not even choose his own children, but they are given to him by God, and a child does not get to choose their father either.

We do not agree on everything, and fathers can learn a lot from their children too, because it is a two way relationship.

Adoption & Foster Family Christmas Party Thur Dec. 1, 2011

Lake Pointe Adoption & Foster
Family Christmas Party

When:  Thursday, Dec. 1, 2011, 6:30-8:30pm
Where: LPC Rockwall, Hospitality Room
Please bring:  main dish, drinks, salad or dessert to share

Your whole family is invited
Provided: Cups, ice, plates, silverware, napkins


Please email ideas for childrens activities at the party to Charlotte at charlotte@missionfamily.com

Home Play Therapy (CPRT) Presentation

Download PDF presentation here

SO WHY PLAY THERAPY?

Helps you SHOW others what's going on inside

Helps you MANAGE and EXPRESS big and small hurts

Helps you go from passive to ACTIVE role (be in control)

Helps you PROCESS terrifying things that leave you speechless/frozen

Helps you physically REBUILD what feels destroyed

Helps you COMPENSATE for losses

Helps you OVERCOME hardships

Helps you establish RELATIONSHIPS with others

Helps you REGULATE your emotions

It is COMFORTING and NURTURING

Eliana Gil

Extracts from Kara Carnes-Holt Research

Creating healthy and secure relationships for parents and adopted children is an essential therapeutic need for adoptive families.

Children in adoptive and foster placements are at particular risk for forming insecure attachments due to a variety of factors including changes in primary caregivers as well as exposure to repeated traumas such as neglect, abandonment, and abuse.

CPRT is a relationship-based therapeutic model with the philosophy that the parent-child relationship is the structure for change. The findings of the study are noteworthy as results indicate that CPRT can significantly decrease parent-child relationship stress, reduce children’s problem behaviors, and increase parental empathy.

The findings of the study are noteworthy as results indicate that CPRT can significantly decrease parent-child relationship stress, reduce children’s problem behaviors, and increase parental empathy.

Basics of home parent-child play sessions

1.       1 parent with 1 child.  Do weekly for 30 minutes.  Only use toys for this special time. 

2.       Parent sets stage by structuring an atmosphere.  No interruptions.

3.       Have a blanket or closed-in area, set toys along outside edge, have room in middle for both of you to set and to play.

4.       Parent alone sets up and clean up toys.

5.       Child feels free to determine how to use the time.  The child leads and parent follows.  Grant in fantasy what child cannot do in reality.

6.       The parent does not make suggestions nor ask questions.  It is up to child to make their own decisions and find their own solutions. Never do for a child what they can do for themself.

7.       Parent’s major task is to empathize with child – understand the child’s thoughts, feelings, and intent.  Praise the effort, not the product.

8.       Parent should verbally describe what the child is doing/playing.  Verbally reflect what child is doing and feeling.

9.       Parent sets a few limits such as time limit, not breaking toys, stay in play area, do not physically hurt anyone. Ex: “Guns are not for shooting people”, “Toys stay on the rug”.

10.    Sit on ground with your child and face them.

11.    Show “I am here”, “I see you”, I understand”, “I care”.

"Play Therapy @ Home" part 2, Thursday Oct. 20 - Adoptive/Foster Parents Monthly Support/Training Group

Instructors: Charlotte and Gary Moreau   We will give you resources, demonstrations and guidelines on how you can  do play therapy at your home.  Toys allow parents to communicate with their children at a level they understand.  Out of this comes an emotional connection to the child and an understanding of the root cause of problems the child faces.  It also is part of the recovery that the child needs.         Support/Training Group - 6:30pm-8pm, LPC Rockwall, room A-200, free childcare - Register for free childcare ASAP on this web site: http://lpcadoption.org/lpcadoption.org/CurrentEvents/Registration.aspx - Deadline for registering for childcare is normally at least 1 week ahead of time. - Great fellowship with other families who are adopting and fostering, useful training including foster training hours, free childcare, celebrations for adoptions, fellowships for whole families, and mutual support between group members.