Don’t be afraid. Fear is a primary emotion for us and mostly for kids.
www.empoweredtoconnect.org Free downloads. Great web site.
She has never met a child that cannot be healed, and who does not want to be. We have to take control. Plan to invest 3 years for an adopted child.
Scientists know for 20 years before it gets to field. This ministry gets it out in 6 mos.
When traumatized, we must start from beginning. Go through exact steps from beginning. Recreate environment they did not get.
Risk factors that lead to problems: difficult pregnancy, difficult birth, early hospitalization/separation from parents, abuse, neglect, trauma. These change the brain, so problems are physical.
God has provided an answer for every problem a child has.
If someone does not nurture a baby in the first 30 days – they stop crying then use their behaviors.
God’s love is a balance of structure and nurture. Get kids to talk about feelings, and give them alternatives. Kids will use violent behavior, but teach them to use words instead.
Moms become better at hearing child physically and spiritually – give voice to child’s crying, and respond to needs.
0-3 years old – child mirrors your actions. Caregiver downloads care, look (eye contact), touch to child. Your spirit to their spirit. Also meet needs – lots of yes’. Have to create your yes’ so you have lots more yes’ vs. nos. Saying yes builds trust in child. Also set boundaries and say no infrequently.
All kids all ages need this downloading.
Really tough kids – most tender hearted, put up walls.
Tell kid it is not me against you, it is me and you taking down that bad stuff.
How to download to a 12 yr old? Meet needs, say yes, make eye contact. Use mirror, complement them, say they are great, say they look beautiful/handsome. Have them show different emotions in mirror – anger, good respect, bad respect, mean, gentle, etc. We have to show them what they look like and show then their preciousness – because they did not get this before.
Children live 95% of time in flight, fight or freeze/feelings. Meet them there. Then they will move toward the reasoning.
Understand the developmental model. Find out what they missed. Redo it.
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