What can the church can do for adoptees?

Summary of what Sherrie Elridge suggests:

1. Form all adoptee small groups that meet regulary. All ages. Child adoptees should have an adoptee parernt with them.

2. Try to understand the heart and love language of adoptees. All adoptees have the same love language, and it is different from non-adoptees.

3. Speak the truth to adoptees about them being adopted and about their birth family. Do not hide nor sugar-coat these facts or you are minimizing a major part of an adoptee's life.

4. Expect an adoptee to reject others because they expect to be rejected themselves.

5. Expect adoptees to smile and be quite, when they are wearing a mask and hurting and raging inside.

6. Expect adoptees to be angry, and to periodically act out that anger.

7. Expect adoptees to shut down at parties and other busy and stimulating environments, and they feel they do not belong.

8. Expect adoptees to resist changes.

9. Expect adoptees to resist love, consistancy, and kindness - because they do not think they deserve this - but this is what they need.

10. Know that adopotees are using almost all their stength to remain calm in public, so do not expect much else from them, and know that they explode emotionally in the car on the way home. And sometimes they expode emotionally in your presence, which will disconcern you to see the quitest child in your class become the loudest and most out control child, in an instant.

11. Expect the adoptee to not respond when you show them love, but know that they feel your love and love you in their heart, but they cannot bring themself to respond.